Does anyone read this blog? Didn't think so. I don't know if i should even bother.
But I logged on, crankily, and saw I posted last in June - many moons ago. Blech.
When I didn't have the "pressure" of a blog, I posted every day. Now I can't write 1 post a month. Double blech. Like I said, no one reads anyway.
I think my problem is I succumbed to the hilarious exhilaration that comes with a large readership - on my Myspace blog I was getting 250-500 hits a day. Now I have no hits, and I have decidely less to say now that I am officially divorced (yay!), being sued by my lawyer and too scared to blog about it (boooo! and you KNOW i have words to say on this...), exhausted beyond words (literally, hence no words on blog...), and busybusybusy (work, school, 3 hour commute, debt snowballing, occasional shower - very occasional.)
I would like to start writing regularly. I would like to continue to share with people the laughs I get from my ex's silly silly life, like - DUDE. He got fired, again. In the beginning of August. He then spent 6 weeks pretending to go to work, picking up his daughter twice a weeks for 4 hours each, reminding me of his "schedule", or saying he was late for work, etc...all a FABRICATION. Then little things added up - emails sent to me during "working hours". Small behavioural changes. I called him. "Ex Husband. Did you lose your job?" "...." "..." "..." "Ummmmmmm, yeah..." Sigh. "When?" "..." "..." "..." "Ummmmm, this week sometime." ("Sometime?") So I did some digging, traced some child support checks, and deducted that he started sending in personal checks to probation 5+ weeks earlier. I then did the math and realized that 3 weeks AFTER getting fired he bought a $6,000 motorcycle, depleting his entire net worth. DUDES - he already has a motorcycle in perfect condition. Yes, he bought a second one. In the weeks since then, he has gotten a new job and has worked 2 weeks so far. In that time he bought a brand new home gym. Yes, dudes, one of those infomercial, 3-am, if-you-are-pulling-out-a-credit-card-at-3-am-you-are-a-loser home gym. If this man wasn't my child's parent I would be GIDDY with hilarious mocking judgment. Instead I am ulcer-ific with it.
Wow - that was easier than I thought! Thanks, Ex, for giving me something to write about!
Ha - to make a short story long, sorry, if you do in fact read me, for lagging.
Most of all, I blame blogger - for some reason it made me use a non-gmail email to create a blog, and the effort it takes to log out of google and into blogspot with something else SUCKS. so i never do it.
but I will try, folks. I will try. So start reading, yall!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Rummy and Slutto Take on the World, Asshole Style
Things that are Annoying me today:
1. My husband's bad parenting, Part 87-eleven-twenty ninety.
2. My husband's mistress' friends. They are 26 years old and act like they are 14. And an annoying 14. Rummy's BFF, well let's call her Slutto, since she will sleep with ANYONE, unprotected, thinks it's funny to sleep with married men. She considers it some sort of conquest. I suspect she will spend the rest of her life searching for more substance, more meaning to her life. She will always feel empty, lonely, and unworthy of love. She will wonder why no one wants to see her after a few dates. And she will deserve this pain. I truly wonder if maybe she was molested? It explains the self destructive behavior. This ho feels the need to talk and think about me constantly. (I don't know how she holds down a job.)
I am entirely too old to get caught up in her games, in her internet taunts directed at me, in the knowledge that this gaggle of girls is obsessed with my every move. But human, yes, I am. So it's incredibly annoying. I find it so hypocritical and ...sad and...pathetic that people doing so much WRONG feel VINDICATED by being an ASSHOLE. I guess misery loves company and worthless pieces of shit help each other dig their holes to hell.
I wonder if they'd feel so smug if they knew my husband had cheated on Rummy with 7 girls? Somehow I doubt it. I wonder how many he's been with since I stopped checking...
1. My husband's bad parenting, Part 87-eleven-twenty ninety.
2. My husband's mistress' friends. They are 26 years old and act like they are 14. And an annoying 14. Rummy's BFF, well let's call her Slutto, since she will sleep with ANYONE, unprotected, thinks it's funny to sleep with married men. She considers it some sort of conquest. I suspect she will spend the rest of her life searching for more substance, more meaning to her life. She will always feel empty, lonely, and unworthy of love. She will wonder why no one wants to see her after a few dates. And she will deserve this pain. I truly wonder if maybe she was molested? It explains the self destructive behavior. This ho feels the need to talk and think about me constantly. (I don't know how she holds down a job.)
I am entirely too old to get caught up in her games, in her internet taunts directed at me, in the knowledge that this gaggle of girls is obsessed with my every move. But human, yes, I am. So it's incredibly annoying. I find it so hypocritical and ...sad and...pathetic that people doing so much WRONG feel VINDICATED by being an ASSHOLE. I guess misery loves company and worthless pieces of shit help each other dig their holes to hell.
I wonder if they'd feel so smug if they knew my husband had cheated on Rummy with 7 girls? Somehow I doubt it. I wonder how many he's been with since I stopped checking...
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Longest Day Ever
Cranky.
I opened this up to type something and have forgotten what it is in the time it took for the page to load.
Sigh. Is it wrong to hope that my memory loss is early dementia and not something else?
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Evidence Rules Do Not Rule
Monday I received Husband's "financial documents" he intends to use at settlement. These docs outline how much he spends on his cost of living, how much he gives me in support, and then the basic info of employer, address, etc.
He lied on Every. Single. Question.
He lied about where he worked and submitted FAKE PAYSTUBS! Well, not fake but old ones from his last job, with the employer name and all dates WHITED OUT! Does he not know I know what his old/new paystubs look like? Um, we used to...know each other?
He lied about how much child support he's been giving me. He said he's giving me MORE THAN DOUBLE what he actually giving me, PLUS he said he pays half of daycare each week. He has NEVER given me money for daycare! And this is the man who had the nerve to text me yesterday and tell me to return the $3 cotton pants :"he bought" that he sent home the Baby in. Even though when he moved I gave him a stack of clothing, bottles, plates, toys, and an exersaucer for the Baby to use. That I paid for.
He lied about having 2 life insurance policies and said he only has 1. he said that his work does not offer life insurance when they do. He said that I am not entitled to alimony because I have the "same earning capacity" as he does. My position is an overhead, non-commission, non-profit position. There are no positions in existence I could get promoted to. My salary is currently at the capped amount, (it isn't much... - I qualify for affordable housing, so I know it's not much) and that the only increases I will ever get are pennies a year toward cost of living - which isn't even guaranteed. He is in line for up to 3 promotions within his company, ending up with a salary of upwards $500,000 a year. Does that sound like the same earning potential to you?
When we were married we each bought a car and bought 1 motorcycle. (2 actually, and sold 1) His lawyer is now calling for him to keep both his car and the bike without paying me back for half. Hey, I'll take the bike if you can't get the money, but we bought that bike together, sparky.
I found out that he received a check from our mortgage company for money that was overdrawn from our account. Apparently he forged my signature and cashed it. PROSECUTE, PLEASE!
401(k) - I have a very small amount in mine. He has approximately 4X what I do. I can give him half of mine without having to cash it out but he would have to close his in order to gain access to those funds - and his lawyer wants ME to pay the associated fees and penalties?!
His crackhead attorney also wants me to pay my own attorney fees, despite the fact that the dissolution of this marriage was 100% HIS fault. I am a believer that there are 2 sides to every story, that there are 2 people who contribute to the end of a marriage. In my case it was 11 people - my husband and the 10 women he cheated on me with.
He didn't want to show how cheaply he is now living - so instead of using his rent amount, his electricity amount for a small apartment, etc - he used all our old house #s - so he makes it look like he's paying through the nose on rent and utilities when he pays like $20 a month for all gas and electric. Jerk.
He listed his old salary, failing to mention the raise he got with his job-change. He inflated his cell phone bill, his telephone, his water, his car payment, his car insurance payment, he says he pays 120 a year for registration for his car - it costs $24 dollars, dude. A year. He says he pays 100 a month to maintain his car - what's he doing, paying someone to lick it clean? And the winner of all the lies - he says he pays $800 a month for gas for his car. And he works 4 miles from his home. And doesn't drive for visitation - I do pick up and drop off. So even if he gets premium gas, he's not paying more than $50 per week, which is far less than 2oo a week - unless he moonlights as a pizza delivery guy every night after work...
He also said he pays the entire daycare expense per month on the breakdown of bills - I can't but help notice that every check gets written from my account, from my money. Cus remember - he doesn't give me money for daycare, even though he claims he does...
And yet he left the "entertainment" section of the bills blank - when in fact he goes out to eat with women EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. He spends more than I MAKE on eating out. Ha.
I don't need to lie about how much money I make or spend - it's quite provable that I make a little and spend a lot - A week's worth of diapers, formula, and baby food eat up my entire child support check as it is, which leaves everything else to me...No court would take what he makes and force him to be homeless in order to make me rich - but this man is just so greedy and so uncaring for his child that he will do anything to secure cash for himself in order to drink and eat himself to death. Oh, and go on a cruise with Rummy. Even though he hates cruises. Mer.
He lied on Every. Single. Question.
He lied about where he worked and submitted FAKE PAYSTUBS! Well, not fake but old ones from his last job, with the employer name and all dates WHITED OUT! Does he not know I know what his old/new paystubs look like? Um, we used to...know each other?
He lied about how much child support he's been giving me. He said he's giving me MORE THAN DOUBLE what he actually giving me, PLUS he said he pays half of daycare each week. He has NEVER given me money for daycare! And this is the man who had the nerve to text me yesterday and tell me to return the $3 cotton pants :"he bought" that he sent home the Baby in. Even though when he moved I gave him a stack of clothing, bottles, plates, toys, and an exersaucer for the Baby to use. That I paid for.
He lied about having 2 life insurance policies and said he only has 1. he said that his work does not offer life insurance when they do. He said that I am not entitled to alimony because I have the "same earning capacity" as he does. My position is an overhead, non-commission, non-profit position. There are no positions in existence I could get promoted to. My salary is currently at the capped amount, (it isn't much... - I qualify for affordable housing, so I know it's not much) and that the only increases I will ever get are pennies a year toward cost of living - which isn't even guaranteed. He is in line for up to 3 promotions within his company, ending up with a salary of upwards $500,000 a year. Does that sound like the same earning potential to you?
When we were married we each bought a car and bought 1 motorcycle. (2 actually, and sold 1) His lawyer is now calling for him to keep both his car and the bike without paying me back for half. Hey, I'll take the bike if you can't get the money, but we bought that bike together, sparky.
I found out that he received a check from our mortgage company for money that was overdrawn from our account. Apparently he forged my signature and cashed it. PROSECUTE, PLEASE!
401(k) - I have a very small amount in mine. He has approximately 4X what I do. I can give him half of mine without having to cash it out but he would have to close his in order to gain access to those funds - and his lawyer wants ME to pay the associated fees and penalties?!
His crackhead attorney also wants me to pay my own attorney fees, despite the fact that the dissolution of this marriage was 100% HIS fault. I am a believer that there are 2 sides to every story, that there are 2 people who contribute to the end of a marriage. In my case it was 11 people - my husband and the 10 women he cheated on me with.
He didn't want to show how cheaply he is now living - so instead of using his rent amount, his electricity amount for a small apartment, etc - he used all our old house #s - so he makes it look like he's paying through the nose on rent and utilities when he pays like $20 a month for all gas and electric. Jerk.
He listed his old salary, failing to mention the raise he got with his job-change. He inflated his cell phone bill, his telephone, his water, his car payment, his car insurance payment, he says he pays 120 a year for registration for his car - it costs $24 dollars, dude. A year. He says he pays 100 a month to maintain his car - what's he doing, paying someone to lick it clean? And the winner of all the lies - he says he pays $800 a month for gas for his car. And he works 4 miles from his home. And doesn't drive for visitation - I do pick up and drop off. So even if he gets premium gas, he's not paying more than $50 per week, which is far less than 2oo a week - unless he moonlights as a pizza delivery guy every night after work...
He also said he pays the entire daycare expense per month on the breakdown of bills - I can't but help notice that every check gets written from my account, from my money. Cus remember - he doesn't give me money for daycare, even though he claims he does...
And yet he left the "entertainment" section of the bills blank - when in fact he goes out to eat with women EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. He spends more than I MAKE on eating out. Ha.
I don't need to lie about how much money I make or spend - it's quite provable that I make a little and spend a lot - A week's worth of diapers, formula, and baby food eat up my entire child support check as it is, which leaves everything else to me...No court would take what he makes and force him to be homeless in order to make me rich - but this man is just so greedy and so uncaring for his child that he will do anything to secure cash for himself in order to drink and eat himself to death. Oh, and go on a cruise with Rummy. Even though he hates cruises. Mer.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Priorities
Last night when I picked up baby my husband showed me his newly bought Magellan navigation system.
I just stared at him and said, “WHY did you get that?”
He shrugged and said, “I dunno. It was only a hundred bucks.”
I said, “But you have a near-perfect sense of direction.”
He just shrugged again and I said, “I guess that’s what single guys do – buy expensive toys they don’t need.”
NICE considering that he owes me over 2 grand in child support...
I just stared at him and said, “WHY did you get that?”
He shrugged and said, “I dunno. It was only a hundred bucks.”
I said, “But you have a near-perfect sense of direction.”
He just shrugged again and I said, “I guess that’s what single guys do – buy expensive toys they don’t need.”
NICE considering that he owes me over 2 grand in child support...
Friday, May 16, 2008
Quote of the Week
“Ahh, sabotage. I can do sabatoge”
And this was NOT in any context you would think it was. Which makes it that much more awesome.
And this was NOT in any context you would think it was. Which makes it that much more awesome.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Baby Girl Month 9
Month 9, to my girl,
Crazy month, my friend. Crazy. I feel like 30 days ago was a lifetime. In the beginning of your 9th month you spent time with your father for his birthday, and saw extended family. You came home with sunburnt toes, so I think you had a great time!
You were a sicky sicker a lot this month, and it prompted us to make an appt for an ENT. More on THAT later.
You got to play with your Aunt Nickey, who has MISSED you! I am supposed to be teaching you patty-cake so she can play it with you next time. Note: remind me to teach that to you.
We had quite a few weeks of daycare/home/bed, or daycare/Dad’s/home/bed and not much else – neither one of us was feeling quite like ourselves and therefore neither one was sleeping well. I went a record 10 days straight without sleep (I exaggerate – I got about 1 hour a night…mer…) and YES, I thought I was gonna lose it. At times. Most of the time you and I would just turn on the lights, get out some toys, and play with our animals and rattles at 3 am til you got drowsy enough to at least lay quietly and let me doze a bit. I do know that SOMEDAY you will be sleeping better. The hope of this day is what helps me not to trade you in for a new model. That and sloppy morning kisses.
You have begun talking more lately, other than the usual DaDas – you now say Momma, Dada, Duck, Duckie, Bunny, Hey, Dead, and Guy. Yesterday you learned the N sound, and so all night was NoNoNoNoNo and NaNaNaNa. Funny, for now!
You also started walking Very Unexpectedly. One night I propped you up, holding the couch, and you turned and walked 2 steps to the table. Then, the next night, you walked again at Sabrina’s by TURNING AROUND and walking 2 steps. I think this is pretty cool – but the pediatrician warned this morning that, for the sake of my sanity, I might want to squash your hopes of walking just yet – you will get hurt getting into too much stuff! Haha, we’ll see.
Speaking of, almost every day I get reports from daycare that read, “Mommy, Today I had lots of fun. I had said fun by getting into trouble, pulling stuff out of drawers, wreaking havoc when no one was looking, waking up my friends for funsies, biting on cue, and crying during naptime. XXXOOO, your daughter” (What daycare doesn’t know is that every day I whisper “good for you’ upon hearing this. That’s my little badass.)
My favorite-est part of the past month has been bathtime. I started bathing you almost every night in the kitchen sink, lots of bubbles, lots of duckies, a couple bowls, some spoons, 2 washcloths, and your little naked hineybumps. You quickly caught on to SPLASHING! And THOWING WATER! And MESSYMESS! I end these baths soaking wet myself and you never seem to want to get out, even when the water’s turned cold. I love how much fun you have.
So, ENT. It must be said. Sucked! It took them .2 seconds to decide you need tubes, and then we spent the rest of the day shuttling between offices for a hearing test, evaluations, etc. You surgery is scheduled for this month and I am nervous. A lot. I’m sure you’ll do fine, though, as all badasses do.
I have been going through a lot of stuff in my own life this month, and in my minutely small group of confidants I am told things like, “Think of your daughter. Then you won’t feel sad or scared or terrified or depressed.” Unfortunately, you are exactly why I feel these things – fears simply for myself don’t register on the radar anymore. Fears that involve picturing your life with me in a way that leaves you in any way shortchanged make my hands seizure and I start to sweat and I can’t breathe and JUST BREATHE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. Everything HAS to be fine, because I look at your face and I see me, not the me that has flaws and is unfinished and has negativity and is fouldterribleHUMAN. I see perfect-me – all that I had to make you was made with purity and love and heart and hope (and juice bucket!), and I cannot disappoint that. And I will do everything in my power to make your life with me as wonderful and as complete as I can. EVERYTHING IN MY POWER.
Oh, and did I mention that you’ve been adorable-er than ever? I LOVE your scraped-up knees! You’ve been awesome.
love, momma
Crazy month, my friend. Crazy. I feel like 30 days ago was a lifetime. In the beginning of your 9th month you spent time with your father for his birthday, and saw extended family. You came home with sunburnt toes, so I think you had a great time!
You were a sicky sicker a lot this month, and it prompted us to make an appt for an ENT. More on THAT later.
You got to play with your Aunt Nickey, who has MISSED you! I am supposed to be teaching you patty-cake so she can play it with you next time. Note: remind me to teach that to you.
We had quite a few weeks of daycare/home/bed, or daycare/Dad’s/home/bed and not much else – neither one of us was feeling quite like ourselves and therefore neither one was sleeping well. I went a record 10 days straight without sleep (I exaggerate – I got about 1 hour a night…mer…) and YES, I thought I was gonna lose it. At times. Most of the time you and I would just turn on the lights, get out some toys, and play with our animals and rattles at 3 am til you got drowsy enough to at least lay quietly and let me doze a bit. I do know that SOMEDAY you will be sleeping better. The hope of this day is what helps me not to trade you in for a new model. That and sloppy morning kisses.
You have begun talking more lately, other than the usual DaDas – you now say Momma, Dada, Duck, Duckie, Bunny, Hey, Dead, and Guy. Yesterday you learned the N sound, and so all night was NoNoNoNoNo and NaNaNaNa. Funny, for now!
You also started walking Very Unexpectedly. One night I propped you up, holding the couch, and you turned and walked 2 steps to the table. Then, the next night, you walked again at Sabrina’s by TURNING AROUND and walking 2 steps. I think this is pretty cool – but the pediatrician warned this morning that, for the sake of my sanity, I might want to squash your hopes of walking just yet – you will get hurt getting into too much stuff! Haha, we’ll see.
Speaking of, almost every day I get reports from daycare that read, “Mommy, Today I had lots of fun. I had said fun by getting into trouble, pulling stuff out of drawers, wreaking havoc when no one was looking, waking up my friends for funsies, biting on cue, and crying during naptime. XXXOOO, your daughter” (What daycare doesn’t know is that every day I whisper “good for you’ upon hearing this. That’s my little badass.)
My favorite-est part of the past month has been bathtime. I started bathing you almost every night in the kitchen sink, lots of bubbles, lots of duckies, a couple bowls, some spoons, 2 washcloths, and your little naked hineybumps. You quickly caught on to SPLASHING! And THOWING WATER! And MESSYMESS! I end these baths soaking wet myself and you never seem to want to get out, even when the water’s turned cold. I love how much fun you have.
So, ENT. It must be said. Sucked! It took them .2 seconds to decide you need tubes, and then we spent the rest of the day shuttling between offices for a hearing test, evaluations, etc. You surgery is scheduled for this month and I am nervous. A lot. I’m sure you’ll do fine, though, as all badasses do.
I have been going through a lot of stuff in my own life this month, and in my minutely small group of confidants I am told things like, “Think of your daughter. Then you won’t feel sad or scared or terrified or depressed.” Unfortunately, you are exactly why I feel these things – fears simply for myself don’t register on the radar anymore. Fears that involve picturing your life with me in a way that leaves you in any way shortchanged make my hands seizure and I start to sweat and I can’t breathe and JUST BREATHE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. Everything HAS to be fine, because I look at your face and I see me, not the me that has flaws and is unfinished and has negativity and is fouldterribleHUMAN. I see perfect-me – all that I had to make you was made with purity and love and heart and hope (and juice bucket!), and I cannot disappoint that. And I will do everything in my power to make your life with me as wonderful and as complete as I can. EVERYTHING IN MY POWER.
Oh, and did I mention that you’ve been adorable-er than ever? I LOVE your scraped-up knees! You’ve been awesome.
love, momma
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