Monday I received Husband's "financial documents" he intends to use at settlement. These docs outline how much he spends on his cost of living, how much he gives me in support, and then the basic info of employer, address, etc.
He lied on Every. Single. Question.
He lied about where he worked and submitted FAKE PAYSTUBS! Well, not fake but old ones from his last job, with the employer name and all dates WHITED OUT! Does he not know I know what his old/new paystubs look like? Um, we used to...know each other?
He lied about how much child support he's been giving me. He said he's giving me MORE THAN DOUBLE what he actually giving me, PLUS he said he pays half of daycare each week. He has NEVER given me money for daycare! And this is the man who had the nerve to text me yesterday and tell me to return the $3 cotton pants :"he bought" that he sent home the Baby in. Even though when he moved I gave him a stack of clothing, bottles, plates, toys, and an exersaucer for the Baby to use. That I paid for.
He lied about having 2 life insurance policies and said he only has 1. he said that his work does not offer life insurance when they do. He said that I am not entitled to alimony because I have the "same earning capacity" as he does. My position is an overhead, non-commission, non-profit position. There are no positions in existence I could get promoted to. My salary is currently at the capped amount, (it isn't much... - I qualify for affordable housing, so I know it's not much) and that the only increases I will ever get are pennies a year toward cost of living - which isn't even guaranteed. He is in line for up to 3 promotions within his company, ending up with a salary of upwards $500,000 a year. Does that sound like the same earning potential to you?
When we were married we each bought a car and bought 1 motorcycle. (2 actually, and sold 1) His lawyer is now calling for him to keep both his car and the bike without paying me back for half. Hey, I'll take the bike if you can't get the money, but we bought that bike together, sparky.
I found out that he received a check from our mortgage company for money that was overdrawn from our account. Apparently he forged my signature and cashed it. PROSECUTE, PLEASE!
401(k) - I have a very small amount in mine. He has approximately 4X what I do. I can give him half of mine without having to cash it out but he would have to close his in order to gain access to those funds - and his lawyer wants ME to pay the associated fees and penalties?!
His crackhead attorney also wants me to pay my own attorney fees, despite the fact that the dissolution of this marriage was 100% HIS fault. I am a believer that there are 2 sides to every story, that there are 2 people who contribute to the end of a marriage. In my case it was 11 people - my husband and the 10 women he cheated on me with.
He didn't want to show how cheaply he is now living - so instead of using his rent amount, his electricity amount for a small apartment, etc - he used all our old house #s - so he makes it look like he's paying through the nose on rent and utilities when he pays like $20 a month for all gas and electric. Jerk.
He listed his old salary, failing to mention the raise he got with his job-change. He inflated his cell phone bill, his telephone, his water, his car payment, his car insurance payment, he says he pays 120 a year for registration for his car - it costs $24 dollars, dude. A year. He says he pays 100 a month to maintain his car - what's he doing, paying someone to lick it clean? And the winner of all the lies - he says he pays $800 a month for gas for his car. And he works 4 miles from his home. And doesn't drive for visitation - I do pick up and drop off. So even if he gets premium gas, he's not paying more than $50 per week, which is far less than 2oo a week - unless he moonlights as a pizza delivery guy every night after work...
He also said he pays the entire daycare expense per month on the breakdown of bills - I can't but help notice that every check gets written from my account, from my money. Cus remember - he doesn't give me money for daycare, even though he claims he does...
And yet he left the "entertainment" section of the bills blank - when in fact he goes out to eat with women EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. He spends more than I MAKE on eating out. Ha.
I don't need to lie about how much money I make or spend - it's quite provable that I make a little and spend a lot - A week's worth of diapers, formula, and baby food eat up my entire child support check as it is, which leaves everything else to me...No court would take what he makes and force him to be homeless in order to make me rich - but this man is just so greedy and so uncaring for his child that he will do anything to secure cash for himself in order to drink and eat himself to death. Oh, and go on a cruise with Rummy. Even though he hates cruises. Mer.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Priorities
Last night when I picked up baby my husband showed me his newly bought Magellan navigation system.
I just stared at him and said, “WHY did you get that?”
He shrugged and said, “I dunno. It was only a hundred bucks.”
I said, “But you have a near-perfect sense of direction.”
He just shrugged again and I said, “I guess that’s what single guys do – buy expensive toys they don’t need.”
NICE considering that he owes me over 2 grand in child support...
I just stared at him and said, “WHY did you get that?”
He shrugged and said, “I dunno. It was only a hundred bucks.”
I said, “But you have a near-perfect sense of direction.”
He just shrugged again and I said, “I guess that’s what single guys do – buy expensive toys they don’t need.”
NICE considering that he owes me over 2 grand in child support...
Friday, May 16, 2008
Quote of the Week
“Ahh, sabotage. I can do sabatoge”
And this was NOT in any context you would think it was. Which makes it that much more awesome.
And this was NOT in any context you would think it was. Which makes it that much more awesome.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Baby Girl Month 9
Month 9, to my girl,
Crazy month, my friend. Crazy. I feel like 30 days ago was a lifetime. In the beginning of your 9th month you spent time with your father for his birthday, and saw extended family. You came home with sunburnt toes, so I think you had a great time!
You were a sicky sicker a lot this month, and it prompted us to make an appt for an ENT. More on THAT later.
You got to play with your Aunt Nickey, who has MISSED you! I am supposed to be teaching you patty-cake so she can play it with you next time. Note: remind me to teach that to you.
We had quite a few weeks of daycare/home/bed, or daycare/Dad’s/home/bed and not much else – neither one of us was feeling quite like ourselves and therefore neither one was sleeping well. I went a record 10 days straight without sleep (I exaggerate – I got about 1 hour a night…mer…) and YES, I thought I was gonna lose it. At times. Most of the time you and I would just turn on the lights, get out some toys, and play with our animals and rattles at 3 am til you got drowsy enough to at least lay quietly and let me doze a bit. I do know that SOMEDAY you will be sleeping better. The hope of this day is what helps me not to trade you in for a new model. That and sloppy morning kisses.
You have begun talking more lately, other than the usual DaDas – you now say Momma, Dada, Duck, Duckie, Bunny, Hey, Dead, and Guy. Yesterday you learned the N sound, and so all night was NoNoNoNoNo and NaNaNaNa. Funny, for now!
You also started walking Very Unexpectedly. One night I propped you up, holding the couch, and you turned and walked 2 steps to the table. Then, the next night, you walked again at Sabrina’s by TURNING AROUND and walking 2 steps. I think this is pretty cool – but the pediatrician warned this morning that, for the sake of my sanity, I might want to squash your hopes of walking just yet – you will get hurt getting into too much stuff! Haha, we’ll see.
Speaking of, almost every day I get reports from daycare that read, “Mommy, Today I had lots of fun. I had said fun by getting into trouble, pulling stuff out of drawers, wreaking havoc when no one was looking, waking up my friends for funsies, biting on cue, and crying during naptime. XXXOOO, your daughter” (What daycare doesn’t know is that every day I whisper “good for you’ upon hearing this. That’s my little badass.)
My favorite-est part of the past month has been bathtime. I started bathing you almost every night in the kitchen sink, lots of bubbles, lots of duckies, a couple bowls, some spoons, 2 washcloths, and your little naked hineybumps. You quickly caught on to SPLASHING! And THOWING WATER! And MESSYMESS! I end these baths soaking wet myself and you never seem to want to get out, even when the water’s turned cold. I love how much fun you have.
So, ENT. It must be said. Sucked! It took them .2 seconds to decide you need tubes, and then we spent the rest of the day shuttling between offices for a hearing test, evaluations, etc. You surgery is scheduled for this month and I am nervous. A lot. I’m sure you’ll do fine, though, as all badasses do.
I have been going through a lot of stuff in my own life this month, and in my minutely small group of confidants I am told things like, “Think of your daughter. Then you won’t feel sad or scared or terrified or depressed.” Unfortunately, you are exactly why I feel these things – fears simply for myself don’t register on the radar anymore. Fears that involve picturing your life with me in a way that leaves you in any way shortchanged make my hands seizure and I start to sweat and I can’t breathe and JUST BREATHE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. Everything HAS to be fine, because I look at your face and I see me, not the me that has flaws and is unfinished and has negativity and is fouldterribleHUMAN. I see perfect-me – all that I had to make you was made with purity and love and heart and hope (and juice bucket!), and I cannot disappoint that. And I will do everything in my power to make your life with me as wonderful and as complete as I can. EVERYTHING IN MY POWER.
Oh, and did I mention that you’ve been adorable-er than ever? I LOVE your scraped-up knees! You’ve been awesome.
love, momma
Crazy month, my friend. Crazy. I feel like 30 days ago was a lifetime. In the beginning of your 9th month you spent time with your father for his birthday, and saw extended family. You came home with sunburnt toes, so I think you had a great time!
You were a sicky sicker a lot this month, and it prompted us to make an appt for an ENT. More on THAT later.
You got to play with your Aunt Nickey, who has MISSED you! I am supposed to be teaching you patty-cake so she can play it with you next time. Note: remind me to teach that to you.
We had quite a few weeks of daycare/home/bed, or daycare/Dad’s/home/bed and not much else – neither one of us was feeling quite like ourselves and therefore neither one was sleeping well. I went a record 10 days straight without sleep (I exaggerate – I got about 1 hour a night…mer…) and YES, I thought I was gonna lose it. At times. Most of the time you and I would just turn on the lights, get out some toys, and play with our animals and rattles at 3 am til you got drowsy enough to at least lay quietly and let me doze a bit. I do know that SOMEDAY you will be sleeping better. The hope of this day is what helps me not to trade you in for a new model. That and sloppy morning kisses.
You have begun talking more lately, other than the usual DaDas – you now say Momma, Dada, Duck, Duckie, Bunny, Hey, Dead, and Guy. Yesterday you learned the N sound, and so all night was NoNoNoNoNo and NaNaNaNa. Funny, for now!
You also started walking Very Unexpectedly. One night I propped you up, holding the couch, and you turned and walked 2 steps to the table. Then, the next night, you walked again at Sabrina’s by TURNING AROUND and walking 2 steps. I think this is pretty cool – but the pediatrician warned this morning that, for the sake of my sanity, I might want to squash your hopes of walking just yet – you will get hurt getting into too much stuff! Haha, we’ll see.
Speaking of, almost every day I get reports from daycare that read, “Mommy, Today I had lots of fun. I had said fun by getting into trouble, pulling stuff out of drawers, wreaking havoc when no one was looking, waking up my friends for funsies, biting on cue, and crying during naptime. XXXOOO, your daughter” (What daycare doesn’t know is that every day I whisper “good for you’ upon hearing this. That’s my little badass.)
My favorite-est part of the past month has been bathtime. I started bathing you almost every night in the kitchen sink, lots of bubbles, lots of duckies, a couple bowls, some spoons, 2 washcloths, and your little naked hineybumps. You quickly caught on to SPLASHING! And THOWING WATER! And MESSYMESS! I end these baths soaking wet myself and you never seem to want to get out, even when the water’s turned cold. I love how much fun you have.
So, ENT. It must be said. Sucked! It took them .2 seconds to decide you need tubes, and then we spent the rest of the day shuttling between offices for a hearing test, evaluations, etc. You surgery is scheduled for this month and I am nervous. A lot. I’m sure you’ll do fine, though, as all badasses do.
I have been going through a lot of stuff in my own life this month, and in my minutely small group of confidants I am told things like, “Think of your daughter. Then you won’t feel sad or scared or terrified or depressed.” Unfortunately, you are exactly why I feel these things – fears simply for myself don’t register on the radar anymore. Fears that involve picturing your life with me in a way that leaves you in any way shortchanged make my hands seizure and I start to sweat and I can’t breathe and JUST BREATHE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. Everything HAS to be fine, because I look at your face and I see me, not the me that has flaws and is unfinished and has negativity and is fouldterribleHUMAN. I see perfect-me – all that I had to make you was made with purity and love and heart and hope (and juice bucket!), and I cannot disappoint that. And I will do everything in my power to make your life with me as wonderful and as complete as I can. EVERYTHING IN MY POWER.
Oh, and did I mention that you’ve been adorable-er than ever? I LOVE your scraped-up knees! You’ve been awesome.
love, momma
Thursday, May 8, 2008
101 in 1001
101 Things in 101 Days
Start Date: March 12, 2008
Start Date: March 12, 2008
Finish Date: December 8, 2010
Health/Food
1. Steam and eat 1 vegetable every day for a week.
2. try sushi at least 3 times in 1 year (3/13/08 JL1 Lunch: California roll and assorted sushi pieces)
3. Eat salmon at least 3 times in 6 months
4. Take at least 2 Pilates instructions
5. Run 1 mile easily
6. Gain noticeable muscle tone in arms and legs
7. Go entire month without eating out
8. do 30 crunches per day for 2 weeks
9. drink nothing but water for 1 week
10. learn 3 new slow cooker recipes and make them
Giving Back
11. Visit at least 25 doors for AHA
12. visit at least 5 businesses for the AHA
Baby
13. Zoo
14. teach sign language
15. arrange a play date with a daycare mom
16. hand make a costume
17. memorize 5 poems and recite to Baby
Things to Do Near Home
18. American Museum of Natural History
19. Metropolitan Museum of Art
20. Museum of Modern Art
21. National Museum of the American Indian
22. Guggenheim Museum
23. Broadway
24. Yankees
25. first Thursday or other night
26. get a new library card
Things to Do at Home
27. watch all the Godfathers
28. Watch Grey Gardens
29. Watch Casablanca
30. Watch the Exorcist
31. Sell off everything in my “Ebay pile”
32. Learn to make 10 nutritious family dinners
33. read all of Sherman Alexie
34. Read all of Sears baby Book(5/4/08)
35. Read entire Neruda book
36. Do 1 load of laundry a week where I finish every step in same day for a month
37. need new goal
Travel
38. Road trip by myself or with only grownups!
39. Visit one of the following: New Mexico/Arizona/Texas or California/Oregon/Washington
Taking Care of Myself
40. Wear a skirt/dress every day for a week
41. Wear fingernail polish for a week (5/5, 5/6, 5/7, 5/8 )
42. Wear makeup every day for a week (3/17/08-3/21/08)
43. NEW GOAL
44. personal
45. shower every day for 2 weeks
46. brush hair every other day for 2 weeks
47. go to the dermatologist in 2008
48. go to the dentist in 2008 (scheduled 5/16/08)
49. take a multivitamin every day for a month
50. pluck my eyebrows once a week for a month
51. floss every day for a month
Be Adventurous and/or Travel Outside my Comfort Zone
52. skydive
53. ski
54. Ask a new acquaintance to be friends
55. ride a motorcycle
56. Be an extra in a film
57. Go dancing
58. Go on a date in 2008
59. embarrassing
60. gamble! Be willing to lose a couple hundred dollars
Learn New Things
61. Touch typing
62. guitar lessons 12 weeks
63. go back to school for 1 class if unsubsidized in 2008, every semester if subsidized for year
64. get CPR certified
65. Learn all the countries in a continent per month
66. Learn at least 50 ASL signs
67. learn to drive stick shift
68. learn something involving basic plumbing
Finance and Home
69. Get into aff housing
70. Pay off 10% of mortgage
71. write a will
72. get life insurance
73. get a passport
74. NEW GOAL
75. Increase 401k contribution
Work
76. Get a raise
77. finish “catch-up” work 100%
78. go 3 days without goofing off at work (- quick convo with Jamie for coffee!)
Arts and Crafts
79. Make a yearly photo book of A-Team
80. Finish Baby book
81. make myself that thing
82. make someone that thing
Friendships
83. See 1 “long distance” friend once a month (3/22 C/M)(4/22 N) (5/17 C)
84. personal
Weekly and Monthly Goals
85. NEW GOAL
86. Work out 3 times a week for 1 month
87. 1 week without TV (every week in Mom’s house!)
88. Watch the evening news through every day for a week
89. Look up and use a new word every day for 1 month
90. go to 3 concerts in 1 year
91. read one of my books each month for a year
92. listen to 1 new album a month I think I might like
93. complete house clean once a week for 2 months
Misc
94. Be without anger towards Husband
95. Read the Bible
96. get a postcard published on Postsecret
97. Don’t buy a new book until I have read 5 of my own
98. get a tattoo?
99. register to vote under new name in my county
100. create an up-to-date password/bill list
Last but not least
101. Make a new list of 101 Things by the time my 1001 days are done
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Things to Copyright:
“Jewish Church” and "Church-sque" - I bet it would make Whitey feel less antsy around the not-whites.
Rule #1 Don't start a blog and then have no time to write in it.
Rule #2 Figure the hell out what you are going to NAME your PEOPLE. A-Cus I am going to attempt NOT to get sued over this shit.
The only OBVIOUS choice was for The Husband's Main Mistress. She will be Rummy McPegLeg Von Drunkypants. Also known as Rummy. The Husband still needs a name. Cocksucker comes to mind. So does Asshole. Not DESCRIPTIVE enough.
Baby also needs a pseudo. Think, people - you can't expect me to be creative AND hit publish, now can you?
Rule #2 Figure the hell out what you are going to NAME your PEOPLE. A-Cus I am going to attempt NOT to get sued over this shit.
The only OBVIOUS choice was for The Husband's Main Mistress. She will be Rummy McPegLeg Von Drunkypants. Also known as Rummy. The Husband still needs a name. Cocksucker comes to mind. So does Asshole. Not DESCRIPTIVE enough.
Baby also needs a pseudo. Think, people - you can't expect me to be creative AND hit publish, now can you?
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Riches Wishes
Realization:
If I won the lottery, I'd buy $10,000 worth of Forever Stamps, just to show 'em.
If I won the lottery, I'd buy $10,000 worth of Forever Stamps, just to show 'em.
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